how to answer the phone in Portuguese?

I subscribed for a phone number in Brasília recently, that’s because my SO stays there for the summer, and that makes communication easier.
Looks like an important person has had the number before for quite a while, and I keep getting calls from strangers.
I don’t get away with explaining in my pigeon Portuguese, that I am Jochen from Berlin, and that I prefer talking in English or German.
So in the tradition of my early social bookmarking customs, I will list here a couple of phrases mainly of interest for myself, but maybe also for you.

• who is talking? = quem está falando?
• this is Jochen speaking = Jochen está falando aqui
• how can I help you? = como posso ajudá-lo?
• I assume you dialed the wrong number = suponho que você discou o número errado
• I am a software developer = eu sou um desenvolvedor de software
• may I develop some great software for you? = posso desenvolver um software excelente para você?
• may I set up an amazing web-site for you? = posso criar um incrível web-site para você?
• do you speak English, German, French, Hebrew or Esperanto? = você fala Inglês, Alemão, Francês, Hebraico ou Esperanto?
• …

If they steal my time, I can just as well have some fun with them, right?
Luckily enough I can pronounce and also understand these phrases quite properly. Son#2 and quite a big part of my social context keep speaking Portuguese, and finally I have start practicing Portuguese after all these expensive courses – if not with friends and family, then with strangers. Exciting, I tell you.
There should be a button, helping me to redirect them from simple VoIP to Skype videophoning – that could be even bigger fun, I mean at least with one half of the Brazilian population 😉 But to be honest with you: Like 95% of the callers are male. I still have to achieve that somehow!!! Maybe like that:

• shall we talk over Skype? = vamos falar pelo Skype?
• do you have a webcam? = você tem uma webcam?
• my Skype ID is J-o-c-h-e-n-_-H-a-y-e-k = meu ID Skype é J-o-c-h-e-n-_-H-a-y-e-k
  (I will have to remember, how to spell the names of the letters properly;
  Google Translate actually also speaks that for me, but that’s way to fast)

I am very grateful to my 1st commentator, who corrected my Google Translate provided initial phrases. I incorporated his suggestions here immediately.


Update:
You may regard this as bragging, and it may be that, but I hope you also enjoyed reading these lines and I also hope you had a very good laugh, that’s supposed to be healthy. Maybe my SO or her daughters will pick this up. OMG! I deserver, what I deserve.